Posts published in Humour

Ten Indications of a New Year Hangover

Friday, January 4, 2019

You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devil’s pets. Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to “Stay still.” Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as drinking a glass of fresh paint. The bathroom reminds you of the fairground cry, “Step right up and give it whirl!” You’d rather chew tacks than be exposed to sunlight.…

A gay sailor won the chance to have the “first kiss”

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Bryan Woodington, 33, had just returned from seven months serving in the Persian Gulf and Europe, in time for Christmas. His name was picked out as the sailor who could disembark first and perform a ceremonial kiss, Queerty reports. It’s a scene San Diegans are familiar with; reunited service members disembarking from their ships after a lengthy tour and giving their loved ones waiting on the dock a passionate smooch. In…

Russell Grant’s 2019 horoscope predicts the next 12 months for every star sign

Saturday, December 29, 2018

Aquarius – January 21 to February 19 You’re too imaginative to get stuck in routine but your Aquarian urge for excitement and adventure comes to the fore as the year begins. Find something completely different to get your teeth into. The stars give you momentum to put thoughts into words and act on your ideas. Turn your world upside-down from spring to build a better world for yourself. Combining business…

Blind mystic Baba Vanga who foresaw 9/11 and Brexit predicted worldwide gloom in 2019

Thursday, December 27, 2018

A blind mystic who predicted Brexit, the Twin Towers attacks and the rise of ISIS has predicted “worldwide gloom” for the whole of 2019. Baba Vanga has been dubbed the “Nostradamus of the Balkans” for her predictions, which seem to strike with eerie regularity. And her life-changing occurrences for the next 12 months have been branded “gloomy and miserable”, and will blight 2019 in woe. Vladimir Putin will come from…

The 4 stages of life

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

The 4 stages of life: 1. You believe in Santa Claus 2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus 3. You dress up as Santa Claus 4. You look like Santa Claus  

50 Funny, Clean Christmas Jokes That Will Get You In The Holiday Spirit

Monday, December 17, 2018

1. How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas? He was hooked on trees his whole life. 2. Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had very low elf esteem. 3. What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat? Hits a gnome and runs. 4. What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint-nickel-less. 5. What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without…

All-male panel at debate on improving gender equality in the military

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Social media users have been left confused after a group promoting gender diversity in the military shared a photo of an all-male discussion panel. Women in Defence, a group founded by a female ex-army officer, hosted the panel to discuss what more could be done to ensure gender balance in the British armed forces. But pictures shared on social media show five male members of the panel in front of…

Andy Serkis reprises Gollum character to mock May’s Brexit plan 3 (Video)

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Actor Andy Serkis brought back his Lord of the Rings character Gollum in a parody poking fun at UK Prime Minister Theresa May’s Brexit plan. The clip started with an aide presenting Serkis, who is dressed as May, with a copy of the Brexit withdrawal agreement. Using Gollum’s renowned, growling voice, the performer refers to the document as his “precious” — a term the character uses in J. R. R.…

Aliens ‘may have travelled to Earth ALREADY – without us noticing’

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Aliens may have travelled to Earth already without us noticing, according to a NASA scientist. Silvano P Colombano, a computer scientist at NASA Ames Research Centre, says humans may not have even noticed the extraterrestrials arrival on earth due to the vastly different looks. Colombano says the aliens could have arrived to the planet in the form of something other than carbon-based organisms – meaning they would go undetected. In…

Russian causing tensions because it feels confused

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Commander-in-Chief of the Estonian Defence Forces (EDF) Gen. Riho Terras believes that the Russian Federation is stirring up tensions because it feels cornered and confused, and that such tensions could continue for the next couple of decades. Speaking to Daily Eesti Päevaleht (EPL), Gen. Terras, who is retiring soon, noted that countries bordering the Russian Federation in particular need to exercise vigilance. ”The biggest tensions can be found in Moldova,…