Posts published in Humour

Sniper

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

General Baldwin had barely arrived in the forward area when a sniper’s bullet removed a button from his shirt. He threw himself to the ground in terror. The men stood around with the greatest unconcern. The general yelled at a passing sergeant. “Hey, isn’t somebody going to kill that damned sniper?” The sergeant looked down at the general and replied: “I guess not, general. We’re scared that if we kill…

Women are getting their boobs turned into flower pots – and there’s a very special reason why

Thursday, July 12, 2018

The latest must-have home accessory is a pot created to resemble your boobs – would you get one? Home decor trends come and go. From pineapple shaped candles to flamingo print everything, we thought we’d seen it all. That is until we discovered tit pots. Yep, tit pots – pots shaped like boobs. The quirky accessory for use in the home or garden is the creation of Leeds-based potter Emma…

Penalty

Saturday, July 7, 2018

Q: What tea do footballers drink? A. PenalTea!  

Giant ‘Trump Baby’ to fly over London during US president visit

Thursday, July 5, 2018

A giant blimp depicting Mr Donald Trump as a baby will fly over London during the United States president’s visit next week after mayor Sadiq Khan approved the request, protesters behind the stunt said on Thursday (July 5). The 6m orange balloon, which shows the president wearing a nappy, will fly near parliament at a height of 30m between 9.30am and 11.30am local time. Britain regards its close ties with…

World Cup TV kiss sparks social media debate in China

Thursday, July 5, 2018

Social media users in China are debating whether a male South Korean reporter being kissed by female fans during the World Cup is “sexual harassment”. The video clip shows Jeon Gwang-ryeol, a MBN (a South Korean TV channel) reporter broadcasting in Russia on 28 June, being kissed on the cheek twice by female Russian fans. The reporter tried to laugh the kisses off but looked embarrassed after the incident which…

Britain’s Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson heckled in Commons by his own phone

Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Britain’s House of Commons can be a raucous place, but when Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson was heckled on Tuesday, it was not the Opposition benches responsible — it was his mobile phone. He was addressing a quiet House on matters relating to Islamic State operations in Syria when a voice from his suit jacket’s inside pocket offered some extra helpful information. Mr Williamson stopped speaking instantly, allowing his microphone to…

Who is wiser?

Wednesday, July 4, 2018

A scientist and a philosopher are being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist makes some quick calculations and says, “It’s no good trying to outrun it. It’s catching up!” The philosopher keeps a little ahead and replies, “I’m not trying to outrun the lion, I’m trying to outrun you!”

This stuffed toy costs £129 and has an unusual feature that may need explaining to your children

Friday, June 29, 2018

The adorable stuffed animal is thought to be the first of its kind with an unusual feature. An adorable teddy sheep has now gone on sale – with a feature that you wouldn’t usually find on a toy. It is thought that Herwick the Sheep, which are being sold by Herdy, is the UK’s “first teddy with testicles.” The item has been released to celebrate Herdy’s 10th anniversary, and went…

Boss

Thursday, June 28, 2018

A boss announces to his staff: “I’ve lost a wallet with 500 dollars, if you find it, I’m offering a 100 dollars finder’s fee!” A voice in the background says: “I’m offering 200!”